My Truth About Friends in College

I knew from the start that attending college six hours away from my hometown wouldn't be an easy experience. On move in day, (aside from the expected nervous jitters) I was 100% ready and confident to live on my own for the first time. It was very comforting knowing that EVERYONE is in the same position as you. One thing that repeatedly ran through my head was, “will i make friends?”

Everyone’s story is different. I am sharing a very summarized version of my situation which will hopefully give comfort to those who are going through similar experiences.

Making friends has never been an issue for me. I have known most of my friends from home for such a long time. We also always had new people joining the so-called “group.”

The first night of college was extremely nerve wracking. So many thoughts rushed through my head. Who would I sit with at dinner? Would I recognize anybody from instagram? Should I throw myself in with a random group of people? It was like high school lunch all over again.

People seemed to already have their groups. The cliques were a major turn off for me. I am a person who usually can conform to any type of group situation, but I am not fond of the results that can come from being part of a clique.

When I went off to dinner with my roommate that night, we met up with another girl from a freshman welcome event. She then introduced us to her group of friends that she had known from moving in a week earlier and attending a camping trip together.

We talked a lot and got to know each other very well considering it was the first night of meeting each other. Later, we hung out for hours at one of our dorms.

I thought I found my "group". None of them drank or smoked-- which is important to me as a person who does not take part in those activities. They liked to go out and have fun, but were not crazy partiers-- just like me. It was easy to get along, and genuinely laugh with them.

Nights later, I kept thinking about how grateful I was to have met such amazing people so quickly and effortlessly! This sole fact gave me hope and made me believe that everything was going to be okay.

We hung out practically every day and got to know each other very well, very fast. My roommate moved out of my room for reasons related to her own needs, so I had the room to myself for a while. My friends and I would have mini dance parties with the music blasting. Strangers popped in and out of the room and joined us in the hallways. We went to basketball games, other school events, and occasionally out to dinner at the inner harbor.

Eventually, the rapid and constant need to always see each other started to fade-- which was understandable because we all needed space sometimes. We still hung out, but not as frequently, and of course little random bits of drama would occur here and there.

After winter break, things were different. People started to show their true colors. The girls I thought were my best friends here, turned on me. They all of a sudden did not want anything to do with me anymore.

I never had anything like this happen to me before which made me so confused. I thought that the high school nonsense would be over with and that everyone was more mature in college.

Conveniently, a new roommate moved into my room-- which kept me sane during nights where I was alone and extremely bored. We were friendly with each other before, but living in close quarters definitely made us closer.

Now in the spring semester of college, there are times where all my so-called “friends” do things without me. There were points where I was so upset, bored, and confused that I would just fall asleep to make the time go by.

I came to the revelation that I needed to branch out more, and start talking to new people. There are still times where I feel alone. Nothing has changed much in that aspect. I am the kind of person who likes to be on the go and busy as much as I can. Sitting in my dorm alone at night isn't my best idea of fun.

The hardest transition for me was overcoming the fact that I will be alone sometimes, and that everyone feels that way. There are different ways of coping with loneliness, worries, and sadness. I used meditation, music, writing, taking pictures, and even just doing extra homework as a way to get my mind off of my worries. These strategies have been greatly beneficial to my mental health.

Everyone tells you that college is where you meet your lifelong friends. You are most likely not going to meet all your best friends the first year of college, let alone in the first or second night! I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. If you are going through something similar or need to talk to someone do not be afraid to reach out!

Thank you for reading!

- Lexi

#lifelessons #makingfriends #college